I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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