She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
