If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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