So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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