TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
