He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize