now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
