she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize