Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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