Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
someone owes me an orgasm
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
