Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
