P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
