we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
