it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
