I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
