i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize