i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
this hospital has no fireball
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
