Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
