it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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