ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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