if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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