If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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