I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
