The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
