I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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