Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
