i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
