I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize