She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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