I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
