hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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