OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
