16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It's just like the Real World with babies
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
