is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
