if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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