I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
