I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
