Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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