Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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