Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
