i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
