i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
