I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
