sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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