Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
