I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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