dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
