How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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