u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
