I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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