His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
your like the ambassador to my penis.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Never underestimate the power of titties
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