I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
