i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
