wat bout pragnant strippers??
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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