how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize