I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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