If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
