remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Congratulations! We have a period
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
