Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize