I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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