i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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