You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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