dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
